32 – You Get What You See

Everything starts in the mind. Our plans, our goals, our directions—all we accomplish begins by what we envision in the  mind’s eye.

It’s impossible to climb over a wall that you have convinced yourself you can’t climb over.

Many people take this type of wisdom one of two wrong ways. Either they claim that we can truly climb over every wall in the universe merely by thinking we can or they claim that is what we are claiming. The problem here is practical: We can’t do whatever-the-heck we whimsically feel like, but we can’t do anything at all if we believe we can’t do anything at all.

There’s a lot more we can do than we give ourselves credit for. In all fairness, there’s also a lot we can’t do that we probably don’t know we can’t do. Pessimists especially think themselves “pragmatists”, but they also attempt things they don’t know they can’t do, such as trying to be happy by overspending, all while thinking they don’t need to learn healthy “success oriented” habits first.

Know your limits and your strengths; make neither artificial nor false. Don’t say you can’t when you can. Don’t say you can without getting your mind right first. And, for Heaven’s and Earth’s sakes both, please don’t decide that you can do what-the-heck-ever without proper preparation or with enough preparation. There are some things no one can do, but don’t overuse that truth.

Not all, but most of our problems come from some boundary we limit ourselves with. Don’t just work hard; also evaluate your progress to ensure you work smarter every day. We need both hard and smart work; each day is new.

Take time to educate and familiarize yourself with your goals. Consider that your goals might not be best, but the goals behind the goals behind the goals could point you in a better direction that you will be more happy with. Do your homework, then envision the path all the way to the end.

Watch your language, eradicate negative speech. What you say reinforces and rewrites what you think. Whatever you end up with—whatever you have even now—began with what you already saw.

Proverbs 23:7

31 – Don’t Sell-Out

Your values, ethics, personal standards—the moral code by which you live your life—must never be for sale.

If you decide that you should improve your morals and standards, that may or may not be necessary, and that is a different discussion altogether. But, when the cost of keeping your moral code becomes high, you will discover whether you have a price tag on your forehead announcing for how much you can be purchased.

Keeping one’s moral code includes personal dignity, but not only. To sell-out ones morals is more than about dignity, it’s about the foundation of good judgment, wisdom, and the conscientious compass by which decisions are oriented.

There is something magical about holding to one’s ethical code. It solidifies behavior, reliability, methodology, and character. In some way, people will be able to predict your actions, which isn’t always preferable. But, in other, more important ways, keeping your moral code will make it impossible for corrupt people to ever understand you, let alone predict you.

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything. But, if you stand for something, someone else will come riding along in white night to bring you aid that wouldn’t have been possible had you not stayed and made your stand.

There was a tale of Christians escaping persecution from China’s secular government. Two Chinese policemen stopped them and asked if they were Christian. “Yes,” they said honestly. “Good,” the two policemen replied, “We’re coming with you and we will help you because we want to get out of here ourselves.”

When you know that you are not alone—that there are other people in the ecosystem of humanity—that you depend on others and that others depend on you—that what you do can have serious effect on others, for better or worse—you will more easily make your stand and keep your watch.

The big picture is vital, but with a moral code we only need to know that morals belong to the big picture. If you maintain a moral code from above and you keep that code, you don’t need to know the specific plans of others, yet you will help others without knowing.

29 – Honor Self

It is nearly impossible to behave with dignity if one does not honor oneself. Someone who finds it difficult to be kind to others—perhaps in frustrating circumstances more so—somehow lacks self-respect.

Why not throw your trash on the street if your life doesn’t matter anyway? Why care about cleaning the street in front of your house, its only you after all! …These are the presumptions—not just with streets, but all areas of life—for the person who doesn’t behave with dignity. Rarely do they even think this consciously; they don’t consider themselves important enough to.

Underachieving is an indication of lacking self-worth. Overachieving, likewise, indicates someone who feels the need to prove something. Few people target the right level of “a job well done” and move on to other important work when their work reaches the standard; only self-respect can give someone that kind of clear vision.

If you find yourself having trouble using the right manners  with other people or if you are sensitive to feelings of disrespect, then you probably need to consider the many good reasons you are worthy of respect yourself. Respecting yourself begins with seeing, recognizing, and believing that you yourself deserve respect. If you can’t find any reasons, consider that the Son of God died for you and would do it all over again. What more reason for self-worth is there? Respecting others, as Jesus does, helps you gain self-respect.

When you find others who behave as if they lack self-respect, simply honor them. Give them compliments on normal things. Avoid insulting them no matter how difficult it is. When people with low self-respect are habitually late for work, treat them like kings and queens who need aid and ask what you can do, even if you are their superior. “Fashionable lateness” shouldn’t bother you, but on the clock it indeed can be a problem. Offer to make their shift 15 minutes early and pay them for it. Tell them you value their work and only want to help. But, never jeer or get in the habit of degrading them.

Respect yourself in your heart and help others respect themselves in their hearts. Self-respect makes everything easier.

28 – Honor Others

Honor others whether they deserve it or not.

I’ll never forget Sport, the conscientious hunting dog who respected himself and everyone else.

Dogs rarely enjoy being picked up, but there is a “correct” way: arms under the legs at the joints, perhaps let the paws rest on your arms. But, Sport wouldn’t have any of it. Only his master, a 16 year old animal prodigy who trained dogs for hunters in the greater area, was allowed to pick up Sport, even then under protest.

If I tried to scoop up Sport, he would get low, growl fiercely, then humbly cower in respect. I’d try again, Sport would diplomatically growl and use all his skill to prevent being picked up, then return to his humble bow. I have never seen such respect. Sport’s honor toward me left a mark on my heart.

Honoring others is not the same as obeying them, except by coincidence.

Generally, children should obey their parents because if their parents are wrong then children can rarely explain why—except in those incredibly humbling moments when God speaks to us through the mouths of babes. No one ever fully grows up. Parents usually find themselves humbled by their children’s wisdom when failing to honor their children.

My father had to file for guardianship of his mother, which the judge granted without hesitation. “It wasn’t what she wanted,” he explained, “but it indeed was honoring to her.”

Honor is the command to all children toward their parents in the Old Testament, Paul applied this with young children as “obedience”. Paul also taught parents to not provoke children, and he taught women to honor men, yet men to love women—a complementary, beautiful difference in honoring the genders.

Honor could be understood, in simple terms, as treating someone as a king or queen—and acting like a worthy king or queen oneself.

Showing honor toward others says a great deal about the person who shows honor and almost nothing about the person being honored. Showing honor is honorable.

Counselor Troy said, “Respect is earned, not bestowed.” Tony Soprano said, “Those who want respect give respect.”

If you want honor, be honorable: Show honor to others.

Colossians 3:18-25

26 – Don’t Cry ‘Victim’

Never give into the urge to “demand justice for what they took from you!” That is the war cry of every burglar, every predator, every oppressor, and every murderer. People who hurt others believe it is justice, but that twisted conscience comes from the inner demand that “someone owes me something!”—but it’s not true.

You don’t see Jesus whining and he gave up the most of any of us, willingly.

God has given each of us more than we need to make it through the day and the rest of our lives. Whatever was taken from you, in a Biblical worldview there are many ways that your story can have a happy ending—whether in spite of or because of your injury.

And, of course, everyone has an injury from something. Anyone who thinks otherwise lacks self-honesty. If God were to give us otherwise He would do us injustice.

The incredible, energetic, generative, creative, electrifying power of the Creator of the Universe and the Spiritverse can take any size of destruction and wipe it away like a flame licking up a spec of dust. There is so much joy, redemption, rejuvenation, resurrection, and restoration available to all of us that it would be a crime not to demonstrate it.

So, rather than beating your fists bloody as you beat bloody whoever took whatever petty thing from you, give your complaint to Heaven and let the energy of a supercharged afterlife invade your present life. Buy—purchase—immeasurable joy through the payment of giving over your right to complain. One glimpse of Heaven and you really won’t care anymore.

So, get your mind right. Focus on whatever is good and encouraging. Ask God for a glimpse of the Hope He promised in Jesus. With Heaven clearly in your mind, deeply seeded in your heart, you will somehow find the strength to envision what you must, to allow Heaven to outshine your loss.

But, never welcome that desire to “claim your right [to revenge and recompense]”. It misguides kings to lose themselves and their trusted people. Get your repayment from Heaven with Heaven’s interest rates. All it takes is a little surrender and thirst for Light.

22 – Take Space, Give Space

We all need space, even the simple space to exist. But, we have other necessary space—space to work, rest, play, and learn. We need space to be alone—to enjoy peace, reflection, and rest.

Give others space, especially space to ponder their flaws or improve themselves.

When we need space the most we are most resistant to it. Just the same, when others need space and “alone time” it can seem like they need us to continue jabbering at them.

Solo time doesn’t always work on a schedule. It often just shows up without warning. Usually, that intense desire to be with other people is the indication that it is time not to be with other people. Whether your rest time or someone else’s rest time has come, quickly recognize it and grant it the necessary space.

Be alone at times. Enjoy the silence. It always takes time to get acclimated to solitude just as it takes time to get acclimated to long-term prayer. Solo time is a great time to pray—not reciting well-prepared messages to God, but simply to be alone with Him or to focus your heart on one specific need or idea.

Solo times can be remarkably empowering if you do not squander them on entertainment and ice cream.

In fact, the desire to watch movies and eat ice cream can often be a kind of “spiritual attack”, to lull us into complacency and just give up when we should be working, even working alone. Know the indications when solo time knocks on your door, whether it is time for solo work or solo prayer and Bible.

Never succumb to the urge to sit, do nothing, eat ice cream, and watch movies. That usually indicates a “second-in-line” friendship that is too strong in your life, even though it may not seem related on the surface. Such friends suck the energy from us causing the hunger to snack on junk food and “escape”.

Seek out healthy solo time. Guard it. Schedule it if you need. Steal away for brief moments if it surprises you midday. Once you have finished your internal maintenance during solo time, healthy friends will miraculously show up.