Tag: needverse

202 – Insecure Psychology Reversed

Too often, we say and do the opposite of what we actually think and want. Insecurity drives us to push away someone we want as a friend, perhaps with an insult just to start small talk. We may respond negatively with, “I hope not too often,” when invited to visit regularly.

More so when younger, we all misbehave, break things, run away and ask not to be followed, be unbecomingly rude, or even get violent—and it’s all as a cry for help. Attempted suicide can be a call for help, particularly in public or if the attempted method didn’t have much of a chance of succeeding. If this is you, understand that sending any of these “reversed messages” are not likely to be interpreted correctly except by a very few. Even people worthy of your respect might not understand.

Get comfortable with yourself, accept yourself, learn to invite and speak constructively; teach others the same. It takes time for everyone to learn; especially the most “positive” people became that way by intent and practice.

It goes without saying that suicide is no good answer; “crossing over” is one appointment you don’t want to be early for. There is much written by countless counselors with differing opinions, but don’t presume any instinctive response to be correct when you learn about a suicide. Everyone needs good, professional counsel with this matter, including friends and family, perhaps therapy or just someone to be authentic with.

But, if you’re not the person sending “reversed messages”, learn to identify it quickly. Don’t try to interpret others by their words, rather by what they imply: a call for friendship. Others may need some space, meaning “friendship at a distance”. Sometimes love means making it clear that people standing by themselves across the room are accepted right there at the same time as they are welcome with the group.

You might grab an article on this subject, ponder what you’ve seen, or discuss with friends from younger to older. Learn to identify insecurity quickly and train yourself to give a smile without feeling insulted. Those are moments when your own confident kindness can lift the spirits of those who need it.

201 – Rest in God to Grow What’s Around You

God is not slow, though with a short attention span, it can seem like He has forgotten all about us.

God is above all of our circumstances, though He is also in those circumstances with us. The Bible teaches that God is “near to the broken-hearted”. Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died. Having lived and suffered on Earth, Jesus knows our situation. Yet, Jesus remains beyond the ability for our circumstances to destroy him. God can stand and observe our situation without limit, not because He doesn’t see or doesn’t care, but because He is strong enough to be patient. He doesn’t need to quickly finish so He can go sleep or grab a snack or visit the WC.

As a child I asked why we need Satan. Now, I have finally come to understand that God will never rid Earth of Satan—we will. God is patiently waiting until that time, preparing us for that time.

Most people have not yet worked out their stance with Satan. They say they want to do good, but then they go do something wicked. People complain about corruption in government and business, but then they go and do morally corrupt things to their families and among loyal friends. God asks us the same question every day, “Why do you allow evil in your world? Are you ready to get rid of it yet?”

Once we finalize resolve in our answer, God will give us the tools to put Satan and his servants into the fire forever. But, we aren’t there yet. We’re still making up our minds, so it seems.

Every day, at least try to act like you have made up your mind about getting rid of Satan. Do what is good, make the world around you a little better, let your life be a reason for people to make up their minds about God. While we take our time and sort out which way we want to go, God will be there, patiently watching, patiently nudging us in the right direction, and, when necessary, patiently giving us a catastrophe here or there to help turn our short attention spans back toward His everlasting patience.

200 – Mercy & Grace

Laying down the law requires mercy and grace. Laying down the law without mercy and grace only does more injustice.

When a new rule, policy, law, standard, guideline, or other protocol gets implemented, people who have operated by previous guidelines get outdated. In society it’s called “gentrification” or “political oppression”. In software it’s called “depreciating” and “legacy versioning”. In legislation, America knows it as “prohibition” or “war profiteering”.

When a new rule doesn’t help people make necessary changes to adapt, those people are forced into an artificially created “criminal class”. What they do isn’t unethical, it’s only “illegal” because of a so-called “update” to the law. Papers got shuffled around; now old business owners are “outlaws” merely because of a change in syntax.

This is the method corptocrats and fascists use to fight against their business opponents: Simply promote a change to the law, make it look “wonderful”—such as helping the environment or being charitable—, and structure it so some small technicality “just so happens” to make life difficult for your business competition. It’s an actual tactic employed by dishonest companies in the dark world of “dirty pool business”.

Folk from religious “recruit numbers for the weekly meetings” clubs often allow rules to oppress other people, but without knowing it. Rules are good, but not merely for the sake of rules. Rules are designed by God to bring justice and rules are only good in as much as that they bring justice. Formal religions often teach rules as “shoulds” rather than rules as a practical benefit to promote life and justice. Don’t get caught in the trap of imposing injustice through an intrinsically motivated value on rules.

As long as you see rules for their practical outcome, you will appreciate God’s Word’s rules—assuming that you properly understand the actual “Biblical” rules, not some religious group’s reversioning of God’s Word’s rules. This will help you to give justice by applying rules through grace and mercy.

Give people time to adjust to new rules. Governments should offer to purchase any equipment people bought for doing business under old rules. If you are the business, reinvent; businesses that refuse fail. That’s how ketchup was made.

199 – Never Cancel Easily

We never know how long rain will last. It can come and go within minutes. Cancelling an afternoon ballgame due to a morning sprinkle might mean missing out on one of the sunniest afternoons all year.

God disguises His best parties by making it look like they will need a rain check. Sometimes, the party is at home on the rainy day because rainy days actually do happen. But, they don’t always happen. In fact, making it look like it will rain just before—well, just before it doesn’t rain… Think about it. That builds suspense.

Good performing artists will spend a minute or two boring an audience before pulling out the best act all night. This makes for a very entertaining show, notwithstanding that it proves the performer has excellent showmanship. That performer knows what is boring and what is worth watching and isn’t afraid to perform either, just to show that the performer knows best.

A hike in the mountains may seem the most boring just before the summit. Spelunking in caves is 90% boredom and 1% awe—the remaining 9% is spent wondering whether the trip was worth it and likes to come just before the 1% proving that it was.

That doubt—that feeling that you’re in the wrong place—it almost has a mind of its own. It will sneak up on you, trying to make you miss out on the best life offers. It will make you want to get up and leave before the best speaker takes the stage or run to get a hot dog just before the batter smacks it out of the park. That boredom almost has an artificial intelligence trying to game everyone into missing out, protecting the last doorway of the adventure with a sad jester preaching a fake message of despair. “There’s no hope,” he whimpers behind crocodile tears. “I thought I would find it, but opening that door ruined my life and now look at me.”

God put those jesters there to protect His treasures, reserving His best for those who know when to keep watching, long after the crowds think the show is over and everyone has left the theater.

198 – Gadflies

Don’t turn tone and style into your man made moral code. Some things can’t be done with textbook diplomacy, the only right way to do those things is to do them. There isn’t any way to do those things in a way that will make all of the non-doers happy.

It’s very easy to sit in the bleachers, see the entire field, and try to teach the coach how to teach the players he practices with fifteen hours each week—after watching a game for only thirty minutes. But, those who are actually in the game keep their peace.

Doing something “the right way” requires doing it. The man who thinks someone else does a thing the “wrong way” when hasn’t done the thing at all clearly did a worse job because he didn’t do it all—someone else did it—and therefore he certainly wasn’t able to do it the right way because doing a thing the “right way” begins with actually doing the thing at all.

Salt is supposed to be salty. We need salt, but it’s easy to complain about it. That complaining attitude creeps up inside all of us at one time or another. Police that tendency. It lulls people into comfort, then complacency, then disarray, then hopelessness. Salt haters end up with bland and boring lives; in business, blandness leads to bankruptcy.

Gadflies are a blessing bestowed upon society because they provoke us to action. Gadflies are especially good at rudely buzzing in our ears when we shouldn’t have been sleeping in the first place. And, most wonderfully of all, they bite us when we are so concerned about doing something “the right way” that we just stand there and do nothing at all.

Nature’s gadflies bite the slumbering horse, making it jump into action. They illustrate society’s thought-provokers like John the Baptist, Jesus, and Paul. Prophets of the Old Testament told the provocative truth. God sends gadflies into society and is pleased with them.

Gadflies take many forms, from writers to local prophets today to outspoken voices in media and politics to witty graffiti artists. God created gadflies as a reminder. Never be irritated with reminders merely for existing.

197 – Healing Humor

Humor is a vital virtue. It cures the soul and strengthens friendship. If you ever lack jokes, try the long-winded, ridiculous rant of what everyone knows is no more than nonsense. Friends love being irritated by friends because it feels like home.

Humor at the expense of self is the perfect way to disarm. Don’t cut or beat yourself, just let your tie get out of place and celebrate your own bad hair day. Here’s how: “Oh, I’m having a bad hair day. I guess it’s my turn.”

Smiles need teeth. Coffee and chocolate are like good play, they improve with a little bite. Don’t be afraid to add a little zest to the scene around you.

A classic ice-breaker is banter about food. Threaten to put the chef to work. Demand daily delivery. Or, accuse dinner of being “too bland” so you can steal another bite. Don’t compliment directly; pretend to complain in a way that implies the compliment. Give people an equation to balance by using math easily doesn’t add up.

One secret to comedy is the surprise ending. “Thanks for the applause, both of you.” An old favorite is taking three pieces of pie while party-goers gawk, then walking off with the pie. That touches on the “yes and” secret to good improvisation: Accept everything and compound it with whatever comes to mind. Never reject.

Try the insult by non-insult, doctors are an easy target. Find any excuse to mention “apples”, then act worried you’ve offended the doc. Nothing is as insulting as telling someone you don’t mean to insult. And, nothing is as disarming as an insult obviously unwarranted.

When you must point out a flaw, insult yourself more, then your point can’t be disputed and no one loses skin. Witty charm disarms because few things are as disarming as someone already disarmed. The more undignified, the less self-concerned, the more disarmed, the more disarming you are to others. Try brazen over-self-confidence, “I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry. I’m too much of a scoundrel.” Humor may be bad form by the book, but bad form is hardy and hardihood makes others feel good—not merely making others feel good “about you”.

195 – Luxuries Differ

Of the many assumptions we harmfully make about other people, one of the widely ignored, yet all too common, is the assumption that other people have the same luxuries, opportunities, conveniences, rights, and privileges as oneself. There are fewer ways to so effectively incite the subtle wrath of Heaven than through this assumption.

Many posh, white collar, calm, upper-middle class leaders in society experience family problems, unforeseen groundswells that overwhelm their organizations, and even unexplained medical trouble that ends the life or career of a leader who was outwardly celebrated, leaving the family or organization in delusional disarray. Cities and nations are no exception.

No matter your class or race, if you travel enough, you will surely find a place in the world where “your kind” faces trouble from assumptions of a local culture or extra requirements making your normal life nearly impossible—but seems as “no big deal” to the government that crafted those requirements. This applies to everyone. If you haven’t experienced this, it isn’t because you have “favor” with Heaven; you just haven’t traveled enough to see it.

Limits on what one can and can’t do come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is a well-earned prejudice in society, other times it is an urban myth invented by the movies. It could be law, language, or the level of education of a small town. Try using a high school vocabulary word at a school board meeting in a school district where the board of education can’t read above age 10 and see how quickly you get labeled as “verbally abusive”.

Sometimes, the luxuries and limits are about the time or means of travel. Extended family may come to visit you for the first time in a decade. They may have only one afternoon available for you. If you change their appointment at the last minute for the cleaning lady, you might never see that family again.

We can’t remove every prejudice from the world, though it would be wonderful if we could. Simply recognize your luxuries and that others’ luxuries aren’t the same. Ask first. If you don’t, Heaven will humble you through a subtle groundswell and you’ll never know why.

Zechariah 7:8-14