94 – Be Calm in Confrontation

One secret about life is that people rarely judge others for doing what is wrong, but mainly for not using a smooth tone of voice. This is unjust and unfair and puts bad leaders in power.

People who choose smooth talkers enslave themselves. They did the same with smooth-talking, compassionate, “understanding”, sympathetic Hitler—watch his speeches. Wicked men infiltrate organizations by being calm at all times.

Never judge others based on tone, but try to hone your own at least to some degree. If you can avoid raising your voice when not necessary, you will be attacked by predators less often and wicked men will like you, meaning that they won’t take up as much of your time arguing.

Some spunk, fire in the belly, and real communication is a good thing. But, don’t think that pretending to be “cross” or “angry” equates to dignity. It doesn’t. Being angry or carrying a face ready to scold is an unclassy and uneducated way of pretending to be “serious” or “important” or “in charge”. It is as a child’s view of the adult world; it looks that way, but that’s not how things actually are. The attitude “I’m being angry and that means I’m serious and that means I’m doing a good, responsible job of leading” is one of the most detrimental things an adult can do to a growing child.

Just be calm when you want to be taken seriously. The masses don’t lynch people for being calm and well-mannered, but for becoming unlaced, losing their cool, getting frazzled, having their feathers ruffled. Sometimes you can’t help it, Jesus doesn’t judge us for calmness, he won’t rescind stewardship for being calm at all times, but he doesn’t assign stewardship for it either.

If you can be cool and calm, that is a good thing. If you can’t, at least wish that you were. If someone else loses their cool, never demean or correct them; that is equally undignified. Help others to keep their cool as well. One sign of a well-mannered person is his ability to spread his calm demeanor to others. So, technically being calm isn’t enough, it must be rooted in strong, contagious love.