Author: watchstandpray

Humor is a vital virtue. It cures the soul and strengthens friendship. If you ever lack jokes, try the long-winded, ridiculous rant of what everyone knows is no more than nonsense. Friends love being irritated by friends because it feels like home.

Humor at the expense of self is the perfect way to disarm. Don’t cut or beat yourself, just let your tie get out of place and celebrate your own bad hair day. Here’s how: “Oh, I’m having a bad hair day. I guess it’s my turn.”

Smiles need teeth. Coffee and chocolate are like good play, they improve with a little bite. Don’t be afraid to add a little zest to the scene around you.

A classic ice-breaker is banter about food. Threaten to put the chef to work. Demand daily delivery. Or, accuse dinner of being “too bland” so you can steal another bite. Don’t compliment directly; pretend to complain in a way that implies the compliment. Give people an equation to balance by using math easily doesn’t add up.

One secret to comedy is the surprise ending. “Thanks for the applause, both of you.” An old favorite is taking three pieces of pie while party-goers gawk, then walking off with the pie. That touches on the “yes and” secret to good improvisation: Accept everything and compound it with whatever comes to mind. Never reject.

Try the insult by non-insult, doctors are an easy target. Find any excuse to mention “apples”, then act worried you’ve offended the doc. Nothing is as insulting as telling someone you don’t mean to insult. And, nothing is as disarming as an insult obviously unwarranted.

When you must point out a flaw, insult yourself more, then your point can’t be disputed and no one loses skin. Witty charm disarms because few things are as disarming as someone already disarmed. The more undignified, the less self-concerned, the more disarmed, the more disarming you are to others. Try brazen over-self-confidence, “I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry. I’m too much of a scoundrel.” Humor may be bad form by the book, but bad form is hardy and hardihood makes others feel good—not merely making others feel good “about you”.

Of the many assumptions we harmfully make about other people, one of the widely ignored, yet all too common, is the assumption that other people have the same luxuries, opportunities, conveniences, rights, and privileges as oneself. There are fewer ways to so effectively incite the subtle wrath of Heaven than through this assumption.

Many posh, white collar, calm, upper-middle class leaders in society experience family problems, unforeseen groundswells that overwhelm their organizations, and even unexplained medical trouble that ends the life or career of a leader who was outwardly celebrated, leaving the family or organization in delusional disarray. Cities and nations are no exception.

No matter your class or race, if you travel enough, you will surely find a place in the world where “your kind” faces trouble from assumptions of a local culture or extra requirements making your normal life nearly impossible—but seems as “no big deal” to the government that crafted those requirements. This applies to everyone. If you haven’t experienced this, it isn’t because you have “favor” with Heaven; you just haven’t traveled enough to see it.

Limits on what one can and can’t do come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is a well-earned prejudice in society, other times it is an urban myth invented by the movies. It could be law, language, or the level of education of a small town. Try using a high school vocabulary word at a school board meeting in a school district where the board of education can’t read above age 10 and see how quickly you get labeled as “verbally abusive”.

Sometimes, the luxuries and limits are about the time or means of travel. Extended family may come to visit you for the first time in a decade. They may have only one afternoon available for you. If you change their appointment at the last minute for the cleaning lady, you might never see that family again.

We can’t remove every prejudice from the world, though it would be wonderful if we could. Simply recognize your luxuries and that others’ luxuries aren’t the same. Ask first. If you don’t, Heaven will humble you through a subtle groundswell and you’ll never know why.

Zechariah 7:8-14

Don’t just do something, stand there.

Think about thinking. Think about your own thinking. Take time to think about thinking. Think about how you think about your thinking—to think about whether you think about thinking the right way.

Now, if you only think about thinking about thinking, I’d just say you’re stalling. But, taking moments to trace how one idea has impacted different parts of your worldview can help you become stronger on the inside.

A worldview is like fabric. It doesn’t need to be elaborate or flamboyant, but it needs to be well-knit. Sometimes ideas are knit by a single thread, other times they are woven by warp and weft. Threads out of place, too loose, or too tight can make the entire fabric weak. Just the same, a thread that doesn’t belong can change things for worse.

A little introspection is no waste of time. Consider it maintenance, which can be overdone or underdone; your preference is not the standard. Many “personality” conflicts between friends and family stem from having different levels for introspection, accusing each other of thinking either too much or too little.

Parents who think of themselves as “hard-working” often have trouble understanding introspective children. Parents who are not introspective probably have at least one child who is. The signs are usually an idiosyncratic interest in arts or programming language—the two are similar since code is poetry and poetry is code. Introspective people are easier to understand if one takes a little time for introspection oneself. Introspection is an acquired taste. Ironically, if an introspective child becomes estranged as an adult, the gruff parent becomes more introspective so as to ask why. “Why did this happen? What did I do?” they ask themselves at last.

Too late do too many realize that introspection has its value. Do it yourself and recognize it in others. Be introspective at times, but not to a point where it interferes with work. If you struggle with being happy it might be good to take a break from your thoughts and just focus on work. That’s not the same as unhealthily avoiding problems, but, as the doctor might say, rest is the cure.