170 – Lift

Troubles come from a variety of sources. Some troubles come from our own stupidity, others come from outside forces we cannot control. When you see someone else caught in too much trouble, don’t add to it.

Help everyone; it doesn’t matter where their trouble came from. Helping people out of trouble that they made for themselves is not an irresponsible thing to do. In fact, it shows people that there is a better and higher way of life on Earth. They already regret their difficulty, they’re likely too embarrassed to say so. When you see someone evidently in distress, nothing says that you know they caused their own problem like proving that you know just how to help them out of it.

When someone tries to apologize, but their effort might seem to be only half of a full apology, just accept their apology as it is. “Um, maybe I was not quite right about half of the things I might have said yesterday when…” Just interrupt the person and say, “Apology accepted. I completely forgive you. Let’s move on.” That will deal with the issue much more effectively than putting them on the witness stand, demanding a full confession in open court. It will address any lack of sincerity, avoid unnecessary shame, and grow your friendship at the same time.

Do not make people fully confess their wrong before you personally forgive them.

Western children understand seeking forgiveness. Good parents demand a full apology from their children to train them to be honest. But, as adults, we must mature beyond our acquired appetite for fully fledged confessions from others.

Love conceals a sin. This does not mean that you have become an accomplice by not shaming and publicly scorning everyone for every transgression. By granting merciful shadows to hide in, you allow people to search their hearts and resolve to be better people without making it impossible to show their faces in public.

If you can help people in distress from their own folly, then you can help anyone in distress. So, what caused other’s problems isn’t your own problem to solve. Just offer a friendly boost wherever you see a boost is needed.