Identify any problems in your heart that you feel a “ping” or unction to talk about. Search them out, then dig them out. As you weed the gardens of your life, learn to accept other people living in their own self-made sorrow while you focus on your task.
Sometimes you need counseling, other times simple reflection, perhaps books on “emotional healing”, certainly Bible study with prayer, but, often times, just ignoring your “inner issues” and focusing on work is the best way to make them go away—but each of these must have its day.
Whatever you say to others, make sure it is a grace to those who hear, that it is appropriate and right for the current situation. Don’t jump on your soapbox all because you feel some unction to deal with an issue you sense lurking in the shadows of your own soul. Just keep doing a good job in everything, “remain present” to your circumstances, and God will bring any lingering issues to the surface in His time. If you try to bring other people’s issues to the surface, then you are probably just trying to wrestle with your own unresolved issues; doing so while while with other people is a failure to “remain present” with your current situation.
Deal with your inner issues when you’re alone or in good counsel. When you do, don’t fear tears. God wasn’t errant when He created us with tear glands. Jesus gave us tears because we need them from time to time. Denying tears their necessary flow is not “grown up” or “manly”, it only stunts emotional growth, leading to “old babies in adult bodies”. Usually, trying to conceal tears “in order to be mature” is the same problem as wanting to talk from a soapbox at inappropriate times.
Stewing about “what someone did to you” is, frankly, petty. See yourself as bigger than your assailants and contenders. When talking to anyone flustered, rude toward everyone, but not blaming you specifically, it’s not an attack; just love them and give them sunshine. Growing bigger than pettiness can be your early answer to challenges, whether from your assailants or people just having a bad day.