Category: dignity

Love is the end of any worthy pursuit. The test and proof of whether Jesus has truly been taught, demonstrated, and expressed is whether everyone grows in love. When the genuine truth of God—not some purported myth or sales pitch for some ulterior purpose—when the actual, genuine truth from Heaven takes root in our hearts, our hearts thus begin to grow larger and larger in love for and from everyone.

Growing in love includes recognizing love when others give it, even when they give it well cloaked.

Patience is also part of love. Someone who has not grown in love has not grown up. Someone who has not grown in patience has neither grown in love nor grown up.

To the extent that you struggle with patience, so must you cease all activity and pause until patience comes to you. If you can’t guide your subordinates at the office with gentleness, talk with your superiors about how to be more patient, consider taking a day off merely to pray for patience. Even ask those you supervise to help you to be more patient; give them permission to call you out on it when you’re not. Do the same with your children, parents, spouse, siblings, extended family, peers, coworkers, students, customers, clients, and trade partners.

Whatever area you struggle in to learn love, ask everyone in your life for a little help. Don’t go overboard with the drama, just quietly mention it as a personal goal and grant everyone an open invitation to bring it up in conversation: “I want to be more loving and patient. Tell me how.”

Get ready, though. You might cause an avalanche of feedback and it can overwhelm you. If you’re lucky, so many people might take you up on your offer to grant feedback that they critique you to tears. Those tears might wash away whatever hinders love in your life. They might even erode your pride to a point of such humility that they only way to listen is by…

…becoming more patient.

The candid feedback from friends who care enough to say so will make you more loving, but you only see what love you recognize.

Know the position you’re, your relationship to others around, above, and below you, and respect the entire structure. Some things you can easily say to others, but some things you can’t. Some things it’s best to allow others to say to you in whatever manner they do; it’s best to give more leeway to those below you, holding those above you to structure-wide procedure and expecting nothing more.

It’s overbearing for a teacher to use friendly-jousting humor against students. It’s out of place for a boss to make jokes about employees. It’s out of place for a parent to tease children about romance. It is equally out of place for any leader to mislabel painfully honest feedback from subordinates as “disrespect”.

While in the seat of the subordinate, some level of respect is in order, but there is much more freedom to be honest from the seat of the subordinate. Children, students, subordinates, and employees should be allowed to speak candidly, giving priority to obedience over tone. The best way to have those below you give respect is to give respect to them.

Brutal honesty from a superior is threatening, but a subordinate can do little harm. When in the place of power, reprove people gently and allow others to express themselves in return. If you are the subordinate and hope to lead, practice being both candid and respectful; practice for the role by conducting yourself as if you were already there.

By Jesus entering into our world through a barn, he position himself to sit in every seat available. Being a baby was the only appropriate way for God to vomit on mortals, any other way would insult. If Jesus had spoken one word of rebuke on the road to Calvary it would have been overbearing. Leaders can take it, but not always give it.

Yet, in the position of weakness, it might be wise to hold your tongue and live to see another day. When things got bad among the Philistines, David drooled on his beard in order to lower his “status” so as to be less able to offend and thereby escape harm. Whatever seat you are in, know where you sit.

When you first walk into a new situation, don’t rush to repair every flaw you find. There could be a very good reason things are done how they are. Even if things need to change, you wouldn’t know the deep reasons why or how at first glance, or second or fifth glance. It takes time to understand things older than we are.

And yet, when you have been in a situation for a good, long while and a newcomer shows up, don’t be quick to silence the complaints about your old ways. Old and new wine need old and new wine skins, respectively. But, humanity is greater than wine and its skin. As much as we can, it demonstrates our maturity and strength to embrace the new, no matter how old we get.

We show our potential when we embrace both long-standing traditions and the ongoing need to climb, grow, and improve. Tradition and invention form a crossroads of two-way streets. This crossroads hosts heavy traffic and the only things that always deserve to have things their way all the time are the four signs that read “STOP”.

Societies break down when older and younger generations are at odds. The greater burden falls on the generation that has lived more years with which anyone can seek wisdom; the more mature generation is whichever of the two that chooses to do the more mature thing first. While any conflict always rests its blame at the older and should-be more responsible leaders, any conflict between generations is a threat to an entire society. This, unfortunately describes most societies today.

There cannot be reconciliation between older and younger generations as long as we think that the only right age happens to be whatever age happens to be our own. Thriving requires that we embrace both the young ways and the old.

So, in your own working sphere, embrace both. You have room to improve, just like everyone else. Enjoy hearing, seeing, and tolerating complaints about your problems as much as you enjoy witnessing problems that you can’t yet fix. We can’t help any situation that we don’t already love. Wanting tomorrow doesn’t require hating yesterday. So, enjoy today.

Don’t fear people who tell you that you are too confident. Don’t despise people merely for being self-confident. Look to truth. Look to learn. Don’t worry about pride, whether to keep it or lose it. Focus only on the task before you, whether to work or learn. Finish.

If you are right, if you have the answer for the moment, it helps no one to claim otherwise. Humility and being wrong have this in common: Once you know you are, you aren’t. As for humility, don’t give it one more care. As for being wrong, seek to discover when you are as often as possible. Only the arrogant even care about humility. Only a fool seeks to “be right” according to the records.

Learn where you are wrong, bless anyone who can teach you, grow into the truth everywhere you can, and march forward without looking back, left, or right. Your value and good nature is not defined by how you match-up to those next to you. You’re in a competition against no one but yourself. In Earthly terms, you are your greatest enemy and your greatest ally.

Keep learning, but don’t doubt your instincts. When you are proven wrong, call a time-out and re-evaluate to the true, deep, underlying cause. Then, get back in the game.

Welcome jeers from spectators. It’s better to try and offend than to stay on the bench. This is called “growth”.

Champions improve with time. It’s no crime to be young. Don’t indite others for their age and don’t let others indite you for yours either. Everyone’s best days remain in front of them. When you confidently walk into the better and better future, someone will object. The best thing you can do is ignore it and keep walking.

Arguing won’t help dissenters. Rather, shine and show them that the road continues. By your light of hope, they are likely to mind less about other people’s manners and get going on their own journeys. Often times, we object to what we learn while we learn it; don’t “interpret” that when people do it to you. Don’t argue with complaining bystanders, whether teaching or complaining. Just mind your own path.