Category: life

When you envision your goals to set your mind for success, this does not grant you permission to be delusional. Goals must be achievable along the responsible road, taking the next small step closest to you, staying between the lines of low-investment and scalable growth.

Many totalitarian governments build large highways and enormous high-rises, entirely empty and unfinished. But, tomorrow’s infrastructure must be built tomorrow, today’s roads must be sized for the traffic of today. As you dream big, dream the phases responsible enough that Heaven will help you build.

Tell yourself that your success is “reachable” and “feasible” and “within your normal capabilities”. Set these ideas in your mind and heart, remind yourself daily, reexplain it to yourself again when you see someone else achieving what you seek.

Dreaming is different from telling yourself that you are already finished and can kick up your feet. The awareness that you can surely achieve a good thing should naturally drive you to work for it, if not then something is terribly wrong, either with your goals or with your mindset.

When the presence of other people interferes with your progress, do not presume that you need to put distance between you and them. Gauge the challenge according to your direction. Stay on task and don’t waste time if your relationship with them us purely recreational. If they say something you don’t like while they demonstrate the competence to help with your goals, then that something may very well be a thing you need to hear, regardless of whether you want to hear it. Perhaps they themselves are your project, to help them learn the ways of happiness and mental determination.

If you run away from difficult allies, you won’t be able to confront adversaries; difficult friends contribute to your own strength and if you run from every difficult friend then you won’t have any friends at all in your day of trouble. You are just as difficult to others as others seem difficult to you. Simply tell yourself that this is normal, no big deal, and that the difficulty that comes with having good friends is just another challenging trophy “within your normal capabilities” to earn.

A cheat-proof indication of adulthood maturity is the ability to be patient with anyone younger. Things about others that irritate us most are often most true of ourselves. God puts irritating people in our lives because mirrors are useful.

One of the biggest mistakes in life is thinking one is ready to become a parent. When you make that mistake, you’ll probably have children who will be sure to tell you specifically how mistaken you were. Parents are only irritated about their teenagers by things they haven’t outgrown themselves; the only difference is in the price of the toys they quibble over. But, parent or not, never judge the younger generation by your own standards.

Sometimes younger generations don’t know as much as older generations because they are still learning. A teen driving for the first time might take the long way home because it’s the only way he knows. That’s nothing to be angry about, even if it made him late. An adult who knows more should tell the teen to arrive at a time one hour earlier than actually needed—and make sure the teen never knows why. Have some fun news waiting, happily jest about not being ready yet, be smart enough to be flexible enough because the adult is supposed to be older and smarter.

Sometimes younger generations know more than older generations because of advances in technology and science. So, when young people do things in ways that seem wrong to older generations, it is the older generations’ responsibility to recognize the improvement and welcome it. Don’t become that old fart who can’t get out of the way of those who will continue all of his good progress after he bites the dust.

As a metaphor, generations compare to video displays. Each new generation is more efficient and has higher resolution. Younger generations want to be more efficient and light weight. They don’t need to become hippies in order to be irritated with taking the trash out all the time. Because youth build on what the wise began, they see finer details and are therefore concerned about things the old sage could never see. So, judge at the right resolution.

Enjoying your trip as you travel starts with the foundational skill everyone must first learn to earn victory: being present. When you have complete focus on your current place and time—task, obstacle, and mission—things are most likely to go the best they possibly can. Not only will your current task achieve its best, other tasks your mind might wander off to will more likely see their best if you keep your mind from wandering off to them too early.

While you focus your energies in one place, secondary thoughts in your mind start solving problems not in the room, without your knowing. When your mind is most focused on your present predicament, you are most likely to realize the solution to another predicament out of the blue. God’s answer to tomorrow’s problems is to focus on today’s. Most of today’s problems are leftovers from yesterday because we were too busy thinking about either the day before that or the day after tomorrow.

Don’t burn bridges because people need friends and society needs infrastructure. But, once you reach the shores of your new home world, burn your ships. Stay focused where you are. Make a burnt sacrifice to eliminate whatever gives you a distracting sense of so-called “hope” of being able to bail on your goals for some “Plan B”. Don’t commit arson and don’t destroy anything important, but let go of any hopes for returning to your world across the sea before you complete your mission. God doesn’t write “Plan B” because He doesn’t fail.

“Contingency plans” are for the unforeseeable, saving strategic details until closer to a target when vision is better. Some things can’t be seen from far off. But, once you actually make your plans, either those plans should be final or you have too much left unlearned. So, focus on where you are, planning based only on what you know with certainty, always ready so make a huge shift when new circumstances dictate.

The vast majority of what we need is right around us. Take good steps “right here” and your entire journey will be its best. “Now” prepares us for “next”. A job well done won’t need redoing.

Quietness is overrated. Don’t disturb neighbors with meaningless noise. Don’t waste time with the noise of distraction when you should spend that time practicing to perform better. But, don’t be quiet just because you’re afraid others will know you exist. Everybody exists. So, get comfortable with yourself—your true self—at whatever level of growth and maturity you find yourself at each new day.

Loudness can be useful. Alarms are discordant by definition. The louder you are, the more likely you are to make your vital message known, especially if you play a few wrong notes. No change happens without the changers feeling somewhat annoyed. Volunteer if no one else is up to the task of necessary nuisance.

Intended mistakes aren’t mistakes, they’re sabotage. Mistakes are acceptable because they are honest and a vital component of improvement. Never confuse God’s forgiveness as a license to sabotage rather than a license to learn.

You can make a huge difference as long as you don’t remain silent forever. Heaven will always listen to real people; once in a while Earth will too. Prayer moves God’s heart, but only after our hearts conform to His. God forgives, so blunder, grow, learn, conform your heart to God’s so your prayer requests make more sense to Heaven. God can’t teach you from mistakes you never make. He wants you to practice and improve. Don’t make the bigger mistake of never trying at all.

Many travel the rigid road devoid of fumble and excellence, only boasting that their road is empty of error. Your fumbles in forte will derail those who travel that road. Simply live your life as it speaks for itself, striving to make every day better than the day before. This will offend whoever thinks too highly of himself because your improvement and your mistakes will prove to the pretender that we all have much to learn and that he is no exception.

Pursue what you hope for most and don’t fear fumbles along the way. Neither conceal nor flaunt your errors, but play wrong notes loud enough to hear. Seek leadership from anyone who encourages erring aloud and, once in a while, even thanks you for it.

Of the many styles and manners, the “pushover” style is the only style everyone will accept. If you want everyone to love you, just be a pushover who can’t get one single thing accomplished in the world. But, if you plan to do anything, like mow the lawn or perhaps something less controversial, you’re going to be accused by someone of being “mean” sounding and cold-hearted.

The more good things you do and the fewer excuses you accept from yourself, the more “verbally abusive” you will seem to those who make excuses for themselves. Not being a pushover is a cardinal sin to those who

Natural human tendency prefers things that are easy to push around. “Go-getters”, who make things happen, have taught themselves over time thet people aren’t things, so we shouldn’t want to push people around. If a person is easy to push around, that person won’t get things done. Learning this is the only way “go-getters” went and got anything done because big things only get done with the help of many “go-getters” going and getting together.

Good friends aren’t easily pushed over; good friends push back. Those who learn to like “pushback” teach themselves again every day to avoid “yesmen”—even loath them. But, left to our inborn autopilot, everyone prefers the pushovers.

You can’t make everyone happy. If you break any ground, you’re going to kick up dust and someone is going to sneeze. “Go-getters” break ground and kick up dust to achieve their good goals that help humanity. Don’t surrender your good goals to the attacks from convincing pushovers, who get under your skin, who won’t accept anything less than you accomplishing absolutely nothing good.

Of course, they will claim to want “good things” accomplished, but they never make a difference below the vernier and they miraculously find a way to complain about petty non-issues whenever someone does. They won’t admit to themselves that they are pushovers who want everyone else to be a pushover as well, so they certainly won’t admit as much to you.

If you won’t be pushed over then your work won’t be pushed over, but will continue to help humanity for years to come.

Harsh words jar the senses. Snippy responses cause whiplash. It’s difficult to be a peaceful, calm person when the home is prone to tremors, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions. But, if the home is a haven of still waters, travelers can find rest and replenish their supply.

In every sector of life and society, people with peaceful, calm spirits become those havens where ships seek shelter. This is an unexplained—and arguably unfair—reason why some people gain quicker success, trust, and respect in careers and friendship. We all need peace.

A peaceful person is like an oasis. Everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. When you can be that break in the turbulence for everyone who encounters you, everyone will want to encounter you.

Some we call this “being present” or “being ‘with’ those around us”. Thinking about who you are talking to and not letting your mind wander, staying focused on the conversation with the person you are with, listening to understand rather than to persuade, inviting others to talk, even knowing what words to share that inspire—all of these “people skills” depend on first being a person of peace.

A “person of peace” may create incredible turmoil for enemies. Like an eye of a tornado, the fiercest adversary is the peaceful worker roused to wrath. This is not the introvert afraid to speak, but the neighbor who is inwardly solid and therefore comfortable everywhere and therefore focused on tending to his own responsibilities so as not to make work for others. That peaceful man or woman or family, organization, city, nation, religion, or people group—the one with true peace—will stand against opposition with unbreakable terror. Never provoke anyone who is strong because of inner peace.

All inner peace begins at home. Parents create that haven at home by teaching, correcting, punishing, even spanking in calmness and continued “joy by choice”. Children take on the temperament that their parents cultivate. Adults who grew up in turbulent homes can create a haven at home—even for themselves—by giving their children the calm they lacked. Prayer helps, as do good company and counsel. Whether given or received, peace begins at home.